MattRubanoTBS - @burbankhays I saw you looking at me in rehearsal and If you’re wondering if I want you to, I want you to.
This put a smile on my face.
Always makes me feel better.
I miss her a lot.
I swear that girls been through hell and back. But you will never, ever find another like her. And she is genuinely amazing.
I love you. More than words and thoughts and kisses could ever provoke. I see you and the beautiful person that I’ve watched change and grow these past few years. Thank you for being my best friend and so much more, although “Thank You” is to simple a phrase for a person such as yourself. I am undeniably in love with you.
Taylor; I am so glad that starbucks and Vicky T. exist. Despite anything we’ve gone through in the past, you have proven to me what an amazing friend you really are, and I love reminiscing in all of our old jokes and memories. I know youd take a bullet for me, and I would do the same for you. You’re an amazing, crazy, fun-loving, freak and I love you.
Karson; I’m so glad that we could take this infant aquaintency and turn it into the full-fledged friendship it is now. It makes me so happy to include all of our crazy photographs and adventures in my memories and scrapbooks. You’re an awesome kid and I doubt I will ever see you without a smile on your face.
Becca; I don’t give you enough credit. You’re an amazing person. and even though we don’t see eachother at school, just being around you makes me smile. You’re halarius and bizarre all in your own way. I cant just not laugh when I’m with you. We should paint together again soon.
“Breath in the crispy and blue and frigid air. In with the new. Breath out the ugly. Breath out the animosity. Out with the old.” – Christopher Gutierrez
I want to say that I am sorry. Because, in an instance such as this, there is one person who has to take the higher road. Maybe my last few text messaging apologies were mistaken for simple sarcasm but I assure you I would never waste my time on such childish things. And I am sorry. But not for the things I’ve said. I am sorry, however, for the way you took them. I’m sorry that I hurt feelings without intent, and while I’m at this, why don’t I make that for all of us, because whether or not we’d like to admit it, no one ever wants to hurt someone. I don’t even step on ants, I assure you I would never deliberately try to hurt someone I care deeply about. I am sorry that your insecurities have led you as far to say that you have been suicidal. I have a heart, and however angry I am, would never wish that upon anyone.
The truth is, you really messed this one up. You ignored any opportunity you had at replenishing our friendship, and in that, I am sorry for you. I don’t think that you are a bad person, but I think that you are sorely misguided.
I won’t lie. I am angry. I was angrier this afternoon than I have been the past few weeks. It got to the point where I wanted to scream and punch throats. And I most defiantly did not want to compose myself in such a manner as this. But that’s the thing about me. I am not a child. And I will be the first to apologize, even in situations when apologies are not needed. I give second chances and thirds and fourths, if I know that you deserve it. I’ve done it before with someone that is a very dear friend to me, because, even though words were exchanged on both ends, she took the higher road and admitted where she was wrong. And she fucking soaked in it, longer than I ever wanted her to. Because people like that don’t deserve to feel bad. Mistakes happen, even with good people. And I still have an amazing friend to verify that.
I have no room in my life for unhealthy relationships with anyone. Because I’ve played this game many times. I’ve been the one to walk across the street, face burning and fists clenched, to fix a battered friendship with someone I cared about. Because I knew I had to. Because I knew, that that person would never grow up, and be the one to walk out their front door to see if I was alright. And once I realize that, our friendship naturally ceased, and I am a better, happier person because of it. And I took something out of that situation. Because when someone shows an obvious inability to calmly talk things out, or to even show any sign of emotion for a friendship, there is no room for that kind if immaturity in my life.
This is not me ending a friendship; that was decided by someone else far before this. I can only do so much as a person and as a friend. I’ve thrown the ropes, but there’s not much I can do once they’ve been snipped. I just hope for the best on her end because I do not wish bad things on people, no matter the amount of anger I’m harboring.
This is not a hoax, an attack, or a sympathy ploy. This is me and the way I work. And if you want to judge me, than go right ahead, because I have nothing to hide. This post is everything that I have learned over the past few years, because I refuse to let people suck the life out of me.
Because despite whatever happens in this situation I can look back at this and know that I was the most truthful I could be, and that, throughout this, I have never stopped loving, never stopped trying, and never stopped being the bigger, better person that I can be. Because caring is not ignoring someone because they’re ignoring you. Caring is not letting someone flee the situation. Caring is bursting the safe little bubble of someone you love, because you care enough to address the heavy silence that they’ve laid down between the both of you. Because you care enough to try.
And no one can take that away from me, or any one else who has done the same.
This is not a “write it so they find it” post, nor is it really for anyone but myself.
This is evolution.
- Briana
“Each step is perfect and clean.
Like the moment in the fight when you realize its impossible for you to lose or when you’re fucking someone like you’ve never fucked before or the moment of intensity of the song that makes you clench your teeth.
Its unbridled and precise.
Its spit covered makeouts with bad intentions.
Its every speck of true life.
Its the second when your voice cracks in a scream.
Its clenched fists that are begging for teeth.
Its what moves my heart and my tongue.
Its the guilt I feel for every wasted moment.
Its the light that shoots from my fingers and tempers me into fucking diamonds.
Its what makes me want to spit and rage and break and fight and fuck and slash and burn and rage and rage and rage.
To go out tearing out my windpipe and spilling my redblack life out on to the streets.
Its black and shining adrenaline that wants to fight god.
Its what makes me want to rob you and steal your love and murder and crush bugs and burn ants with a magnifying glass and push strangers in front of trains.
Its filth and frenzy and fury and dirty sex.
Its what makes you want to drive off curves and go out like a shining and screaming shooting fucking star.
Its snot and cum and blood and piss and snarls and dirty looks.
Its vandalizing heaven.
Its getting to hell and telling the devil, “i could do this better.”
Its a hunger.
A biting and wrathful passion.
If I could harness it I could take over.
This.
Us.
You.
Everything .
…to break and fuck it to death.
It is the acid in my battery, the air in my lungs, the light in my eyes and the course I have chosen. This is abuot the only real fight, the fight to stay alive.
Not just to live, but to rage.”
- Christopher Gutierrez
Would you lick my vagine
No, I’m strictly limited to Jepha’s penis. Sorry for the inconvenience.
